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Oh say can you see? Screwball golf’s Murica Polo is the epitome of patriotism. Why bleed red, white, and blue when you can tee it up and send it screaming over the dogleg for a hole in one? Featuring a beer drinking bald eagle set against a backdrop of Fourth of July fireworks, this shirt makes your allegiance clear. Suit up and let’s raise a glass to the greatest county on earth! Fk ya
| Material: | 92% Polyester 8% Spandex |
| Player: | Murica "The Patriot" |
| Golf Handicap: | +2 but wished it was +1776 |
| Favorite Song: | "Real American" by Jim Johnston |
| Bio: | Murica "The Patriot" is the most patriotic golfer you'll ever meet. He eats apple pie for breakfast, wears American flag pants, and has "Born in the USA" as his ringtone. He loves his country almost as much as he loves golf, and he's not afraid to show it. You'll hear him shout "USA! USA!" after every birdie, and "I love this country!" after every par. |
| Strengths: | Power and accuracy off the tee: Murica's swing is as strong as the American economy and as accurate as a sniper rifle. He can hit the ball further than the eye can see, and always lands it on the fairway. Short game precision: Murica's short game is as precise as the Declaration of Independence. He can chip, pitch, and putt with the best of them, and has a knack for getting up and down from anywhere. Mental toughness: Murica's patriotism gives him mental toughness like no other. He never gives up, no matter how bad his round is going, and always fights until the last putt drops. |
| Weaknesses: | Putting under pressure: Murica's love for his country can sometimes distract him from his putting. He gets so caught up in the moment that he forgets to read the green properly, and ends up missing easy putts. Playing in adverse conditions: Murica is used to playing in perfect weather conditions, so when it starts raining or there's a strong wind, he gets flustered. He's not used to playing in anything less than perfect conditions, so his game can suffer. |
| Career Highlights: | |
| ▪ Winner of the "Murica Open", a tournament he created himself. | |
| ▪ Represented Team USA in the "Stars and Stripes Cup", a bi-annual event he organized. | |
| ▪ Won the "Fourth of July Classic" five years in a row. | |
| ▪ 2nd place at the U.S. Open, but he doesn't like to talk about it because it's not first place. | |
| Equipment: | |
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Driver: The "Freedom Driver", made in America by Americans, with an American flag on it. Irons: The "Constitution Irons", forged by the Founding Fathers themselves, with "We the People" engraved on them. Wedges: The "Bill of Rights Wedges", designed to give him the right to bear birdies and the pursuit of pars. Putter: The "Presidential Putter", designed by George Washington himself, with a bald eagle on it. |
